Sunday, March 30, 2014

Shadows and LIGHT

I sat silently in a beautiful Meadow. A Vortex in Sedona, AZ.
Vortexes are places where the energy is powerful. So powerful that you can see the trees and plants growing in swirls....

As I sat I noticed a beautiful Shadow Cast upon the large RED ROCK cliffside....and I observed
how Shadows are seemingly ALIVE...
They grow and diminish throughout the day, they shift from side to side, they stretch tall and shrink small... in fact- all day they are engaged in a magnificent dance of creation. 

As I pondered this I wondered.... "Do Shadows have consciousness? Do they have an awareness? Are they alive? Do they know they are really just an illusion? A semi-reflection of something that is REAL and ALIVE and TANGIBLE?"

The moment this question formed in my mind---- I heard a small voice in my heart whisper:
"I wonder if HUMANS think they are  REAL... or do they know, they are just a reflection...?" 


Friday, March 28, 2014

Death- The Peaceful Nightmare

A month before my son passed away his Grandfather Bruce had a dream that Bruce was lying in a Meadow and to his right was Susan, his wife, and to his left was Jonah- My 2 year old Son. Bruce realized as he became more aware of the surroundings that what he had assumed to be a meadow was actually the Cemetery he had purchased 3 plots in 20 years before.

Bruce shared this story only after Jonah died unexpectedly. Of course at the time of the dream- he had just found it odd and like any of us would, a semi-strange peaceful nightmare.

I remember the window of time after Jonah passed. It's like a haze to me. I remember at the time feeling surrounded by comforting Angels while simultaneously the world felt like a Fire... walking through a nightmare and there was nothing to do- but put one foot in front of the other.

I wanted to give up. I didn't want to wake up day after day and face the world without my child.... but I had a baby 5 months in my womb and a 4 year old daughter who witnessed her brothers death and had become a mute. My husband, Jon- left that day. Not physically, he was in my home for the next 8 years but "Jon" disappeared. Sometimes, the spark of fun and laughter and optimism I knew him to be would surface temporarily over those next 8 years.... but "FEELING" was too painful for him anymore and those times were short lived. Sometimes, I get angry at Jon for that... but I always tend to let it go... because I understand. I can't blame someone for never being the same after their baby died.... I'm not the same either.

11 years ago today is the morning I watched Jonah die in Jon's arms while I was frantically crying for help on the line with 911 and watching Susan- my Mom-in-Law and registered nurse running into my house from the street.

Jonah died in less than 12 hours. There are no answers. They don't know why or how he died. He got sick- and died.

People have asked if I want answers.... to exhume him and find out if it really was that "weird virus" or something else... etc etc.
I've always replied "Why?" It doesn't change anything. It doesn't bring him back.

I miss him. I miss the idea of him I guess....
The truth is that I know things are the way they were planned to be.
This life is about growth. This life is about LOVE.

People who say it's a test etc etc... aren't clear yet.

Life is about LOVE> .... the real kind. The unattached, selfless kind. The MASTERY of Self-LOVE... Life is about forgetting and remembering.

We are LOVE, we come from LOVE.... and we come here to forget it... so the process of REMEMBERING what REAL GENUINE LOVE can take place.

I'm on that journey- I'm learning it. Jonah transitioning to where he is now- has been one of the major parts of that.

The Dark time I recall after losing Jonah is lit with Starlight. Each of the kind and compassionate gestures made by those who were willing to reach out and extend themselves to me- reaching out a hand in LOVE and tenderness or gifting me kind words.... are THE STARS in THAT DARK NIGHT of my SOUL.

Because of them... and you.... I have shaped my life and promised the Mother/Father God I look to, that I will commit my life to return the compassion I received by extending it to others.

I am grateful for that.

I miss Jonah. I don't wish things different. I still miss him and I cry sometimes about it. But I know things are as they are meant to be.

                                                                   Katie Jo Welch

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Child Support.... The SECOND Wife

Just thought I'd share a small tidbit... a story really.... a true one.....

A dear and wise friend of mine (whose name I will keep confidential) is the SECOND wife of a good man-currently they have been married for almost 4 DECADES.
He had children from a previous marriage when they married.

She was young and in love... and some would suppose that that combination could make a woman selfish... and in many cases it does, but for her- even on a minuscule income from a receptionist job... she NEVER asked for him to pay THEIR bills BEFORE or INSTEAD of his Child Support.

In fact, her philosophy was:
"I married you to be with YOU. I can pay the mortgage, buy groceries and clothes... YOU came with the responsibility of children- I'm fine with that. I'm capable of providing for US."

FOUR decades later, he never did miss a child support payment (or other financial opportunities to care for his kids) and they live in a beautiful home with successful businesses.
When she wanted a NEW sofa or vacation or diamond ring... she created a way to buy it... and when they had "extra" money for themselves they used it.

As a powerful and capable woman- she was a FULL partner in the creation of that life... even as they had their own kids later on.

Of course HER kids were and are just as loved and cherished as the kids from his first marriage... and they always knew that Dad was the kind of dad that would do whatever it took to care for ALL of his kids. OH... .and they saw that from MOM too.

And as a STEPMOM who didn't create a "COMPETITION" between herself and the stepkids... they all loved her (with time) and call her "MOM."
and p.s. This created A LOT of peace between her and the original wife too.....

Summing up...
As women entering a relationship with a Man with Kids.... we get to hold ourselves to a higher standard... to own our EMPOWERMENT.... to PAY for our way... because HIS MONEY... is REALLY HIS KIDS MONEY... and we don't have the RIGHT to take it from them. Or his time OR his attention away from THEM..... 


Tuesday, March 18, 2014

THE "I Can't....." EPIDEMIC, and Gender EQUALITY...

One of my GIANT PET PEEVES is hearing women say:

"I Can't. My husband said NO."
This is severely demeaning- TO themselves.
If the TRUTH is; "My husband I discussed it, and factored in our mutual goals and priorities and decided against it." than DON'T say "He said No." He is NOT the bad guy and he is not the decision maker for you and your life.

I am the Retail Manager at Duke's Jewelers in Springville, Utah. (
and I ROUTINELY see women devaluing- debunking, degrading THEMSELVES.

Here are some examples:

One woman has been in my store over 10 times in TWO months- putting the SAME anniversary diamond band "on-hold" again and again..... because she's "TRYING" to convince her husband to FINALLY say "yes" she can have it. (this same ring is a random anomaly sale for half price... from $3150-to $1575)
BUT, she doesn't have her OWN budget or income.... he gets to make all the financial decisions.
Don't get me wrong.... they HAVE the money for it. He just doesn't "see" the purpose in buying jewelry versus buying guns, amping up his truck....etc.
I can't imagine feeling like a child asking a parent for a toy when it comes to things I desire.
Let me put it like this..... Hey LADIES... if you want something PRETTY for yourself and it doesn't damage your bank account.... create the funds and get it.

Another example:
The 16yr-20yr-somethings.....
I have these amazing and capable women go through my inventory and gasp at the pieces they LOVE LOVE LOVE... they ADORE these beautiful rings, pendants, bracelets etc.... and they say- "Someday, I'm going to find someone to get that for me."
First, how rude is it to put "requirements" on some unsuspecting man out there... and Second, IF YOU WANT SOMETHING.... create a way to get it. YOU ARE WORTH IT.
Buy your own DIAMONDS. Stop holding yourself back from the things you love and desire because you "think" it has to come from someone else in order to "mean something."

Last Example:
EVERY WEEK.... Divorcing or Divorced women sell our store old diamond rings and other jewelry. In order to support and feed themselves.
Many times they are SOOO angry or despondent, I can feel their energy the moment the door swings open.
They will tell me about being married for X Amount of time and how their EX spouse "COMPLETELY SCREWED" them over by affairs or was a jerk or was abusive and now they are left with NOTHING and they are entirely destitute- living on their new "Daddy" (aka- US. Government)

In a world where it is COMMON knowledge that marriages have a 50% success rate.... why be angry at the man in a relationship.... when it was US (women) who didn't make plans for our future. If we didn't get a college education or job skills, or retirement fund, or a way to support ourselves... IT IS NOT A MAN's FAULT.

As women, we can DO ANYTHING. We live in a society and country where WE CAN have just about any job, we can get educations, we can live anywhere, dress how we like, say what we choose.... and WE CAN PROVIDE FOR OURSELVES AND OUR CHILDREN.
WE are THAT amazing.

I get the anger... .I was that way too a few years ago- and it was MISPLACED... I didn't have the right to be angry at a man- but AT MYSELF for not being accountable for MY LIFE and future... but HERE I AM NOW... my kids are housed and fed and I have more diamond rings than I have fingers..... Not because another person provided it- but because I stepped UP into recognizing what I AM CAPABLE of creating.
And that, as a WOMAN, is empowering, gratifying, and fulfilling.

~katie jo welch
Retail Manager of Duke's Jewelers