I was belt spanked as a kid.
The truth is---- while I don't implement this method of discipline for my kids; I wasn't abusively spanked. It was a different time and spanking was a normal repercussion of misbehaving. My dad never used a belt on me in anger.
Why BLOG about it.....?
I am one of 5 daughters in my family. I remember doing something "wrong" ------- honestly, I don't remember exactly what, but that I had done something that deserved some "talking to" and the scenario was such that I stood in front of my father who was looking at me sternly and my head was down, shamed, staring at the ground.
My dad said something that hit me like a brick, but has shaped my life since.... here it goes:
"Look me in my eyes. If you were tough enough to do it... (whatever it was) then you are tough enough for the consequences."
And.................. I did.
Reminiscing now, all I can do is shake my head at myself.
While I see and know that CONSEQUENCES are one of the most LOVING gifts we give to our children and that they are a way to learn our lessons- my personality is one with "IRON WILL."
My well intending parents did the best they could in order to harness my tendency towards stubbornness and free will and by imparting me consequences... I suppose they DID actually waylay many unrealized feats of trouble I could have gotten myself into.
A story one of my many sisters tells is coming home from school to find me in the storage room sitting in the Chest Freezer, my legs dangling over the side...
She asked "What are you doing?"
I replied "Well, it's just a matter of time before Mom and Dad find out I did .....(whatever) So I'm getting ready."
I was numbing my butt.
In the end, LIFE deals us our most harsh back lashes. I don't know that I ever REALLY learned my lessons, but I do know that because I knew I would have a punishment; spanking, grounding, privileges revoked, etc. I did thoughtfully consider the MAYHEM I routinely got myself into.
Often, I accepted the punishment BEFORE I committed the crime. Often, I knew I would pay a price... and weighed the options, and considered my actions.... and chose to CONTINUE on... lol.
But the lesson I am most grateful for was probably that line my dad gave me.
"Look into my eyes."
He never let me sell out. He taught me to have COURAGE to face my life and choices. He never tried to subdue me- only teach me.
It's impossible to count the times I've gotten myself into a "damnit" moment... but I've had the courage to take it.
So here we are.