Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Alimony Atrocity

A few years ago I was a newly single mom of three children.

As many of you know, picking up the pieces from a broken household is emotionally and financially devastating, for both parents and especially children.

During this time, I was exceptionally vulnerable and desperate.

I ended up having a "friend" steal a lot of money from me, and through their actions almost completely leveled my photography business... which was also the primary way I provided for my kids.


What's more, I lost a "friend"- someone I thought of as "friend".

I was furious. I was angry. I was bitter. I was hurt.

I called some legal council about what to do. Luckily, I spoke with a wise one who was genuinely concerned about my best interest and not their bank account.
He explained what I could do legally and what it would cost but ultimately said 
"The truth is: you can spend a lot of money to have a judge say that YOU SHOULD get a lot of money... but the chances they will actually pay is 50/50."

I wasn't in a position to spend a lot of money of 50/50 odds. I put my head down, and began working my tail off. 

I viewed my energy like a thermometer.
 I only had soooo much energy a day/week, and when it depleted- it was gone.
I could spend my energy trying to get someone else to do or pay what I felt was "DUE" or I could spend my energy CREATING INCOME for myself and CARING for my children... emotionally AND financially.

I wouldn't buy in to the idea that I COULDN'T do it.

How does alimony come into this?

I spent 13 years in the same house as my kid's Dad.  Off and on I worked rudimentary jobs so he could gain an education or career to support us. I was living under the belief that this was what a GOOD WIFE did. 
I knew all marriages had a 50/50 chance of lasting a lifetime... but I STILL DIDN'T PREPARE for the possibility that ours wouldn't. I never wanted to FACE that I may get to FACE life without a hand to hold as I walked the path. 


This same mentality is what has created the "FEMINIZATION OF WELFARE" in America today.
Most recipients of Welfare here in USA are women... (not drug addicts) who put themselves LAST in order to support a MAN on his way to HIS dreams. 

Getting back to my friend who bulldozed me: I hated the way I felt. I hated knowing the $$$ amount they said they would pay... the tally of the work and effort I had put in.... I hated watching them LIVE and have things I didn't have materially. I hated them.

One day it hit me... that the only one REALLY suffering was ME.
It took a little time and a little back and forth--- but eventually I let go.
I let go of the LACK mentality that anyone OWED me anything. I received the gift of the LESSON and acknowledged I had paid dearly for it... but that the lesson was worth it. 

I don't like the energy of living in a "PEOPLE OWE ME" mentality- it's disempowering.

This applies to Alimony here:
I didn't prepare my future. I used to be mad at my kids' Dad for that- but I see now that I was REALLY just MAD at myself. 
He doesn't owe me for that time I didn't. 
I can't pay him back for all the moments with my children I got to have and he didn't.
The first steps, the first words, the little look on their faces and gestures. I know all the songs to their favorite cartoons and when they make a reference to them... I know the inside jokes and laugh with them. 
I got to see them grow. I got to be there. 
I got to live "rent free" for a long time- years. I didn't pay my utilities or garbage, or phone bills. I went on vacations and traveled out of the country and saw the ocean.
I WORKED. Mom's WORK! I EARNED those things. Mom's time and effort is VALUABLE- but NO...
He doesn't OWE me for that. 
I won't buy in to the idea that I can't support myself. 
I don't live in as big of a house or drive as nice of a car anymore... but I feel more FREE. 
I feel MORE EMPOWERED. 

And there is much PEACE between Kids' Dad and I for the most part too... I want him to have a great life and all he could achieve... that shows my kids a great example- I want that for me too. I'm showing them I can start where I am and do it too.


ps. to my "friend's" credit; a year later- after they had spent some time in jail for doing what they did to me (apparently they had done the same thing to some others who could afford to press charges) - the "friend" called and asked to make amends. 
They asked to start a payment plan to reimburse me. I replied that the debt was paid in the way of my learning. 
I said "Thank you for this call. Thank you for being willing, but I don't need your money. Let's agree that all is CLEAR between us and just move on with our lives."

That phone call was one of the most FREEING I've ever had- and my FRIEND, wept on the other side of it. 

DISCLAIMER:
I am NOT giving advice as to what anyone else should do. I am only saying what I have learned and has worked for me. 


Saturday, April 26, 2014

Walking on a Jog

I used to jog 4 miles a day pushing my 2 year old in a SNAZZY jogging stroller.. up and down hills- making sound effects over curbs and turns for the boy as he read little books and ate cheerios.

That life is a long ago memory.

At the time, I had a working husband and a daughter that was in school.

Life as I know it now, is as a single mom with 3 kids- working as a Sales Manager at the Diamond Store and doing quite a bit of speaking, photography and humanitarian events on weekends.
https://www.facebook.com/DukesJewelers

I'm busy.

BUT----- Once in a while I find the time to jog.



There's a beautiful cycle I like to trek near my house, it begins in lawn trimmed neighborhoods and meanders through the sister small town to mine, around a small lake before winding back home. The hills are gentle and the pond geese have began to accept me--- (not as one of their own per-say- but they don't attack as often)

Because my commitment to exercise has been sporadic ... sometimes I achieve the 4 mile jaunt easily and other times I don't.

This week, I returned home from a stressful day at work; my kids were handling their chores and homework (regular after school responsibilities) and I knew that the pent up energy inside of me deserved to shift- or else it would explode all over my unassuming, beautiful, unsuspecting children. In fact, my 11 year old was pestering his bro and I snapped at him- luckily, I regrouped and said, "Okay- I'm going to go on a jog."

The jog was normal. I was pushing myself. A little warm up- and then chin tucked, head down, chugging up the hills like the "little engine that could."
Sure, I was also looking at the sky, the flowers, etc. I was absorbing the beauty and heightening my energy by acknowledging nature (learned that trick from the book CELESTINE PROPHECY) and eventually I found myself along the dirt path that circles the pond...being stared down menacingly- but tolerantly by the Pond Geese Gang.


I came to the last hill... THE LONG ONE.... the subtle but LONG incline... and I was tired. 
I don't mind jogging or pushing my body... I think while I do "Yep, my legs are burning, my chest is burning, my heart is beating... that's what this is for- of course it's uncomfortable- it's supposed to be. I can handle uncomfortable for 30 minutes."

As I began to "THINK I CAN" my way up the hill... I REALLY was saying to myself:  "I can make it up the hill." and as my breath was coming harder and my chin was tucked down even farther... I suddenly realized I wasn't ENJOYING the JOG. 

So immediately, I started walking. 

Yes, at a brisk pace... but I began WALKING.

There's a beautiful abandoned building upon this hill and the sage brush and wild weeds all around it were in full spring bloom. The sky behind the decrepit brick structure was indigo blue and giant cotton-ball clouds speckled the horizon above the mountaintops in the distance.


As I continued my "jog" walking I listened to the message in my heart as it spoke.

"It's okay to walk. You didn't lie down and give up. You didn't wave down passing cars or people or look for anyone else to complete the jog for you. You are putting one foot in front of the other. You are making progress. Keep Going. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself."

In my past, I have gone from one side of the pendulum swing to the next. As I'm aging and growing, I am learning to balance a little more in the middle. I am learning that it's ok to walk on a jog, to change to adapt, to adjust, to relax. 
~ktjo

Celestine Prophecy is one of the most interesting books I've read. Buy it here. (It's Amazon. I don't get kick backs- just a heck of a good read)







Thursday, April 3, 2014

FOOD for THOUGHT on FOOD STORAGE

Food For Thought on Food Storage

In lieu of many of the recent natural disasters occurring across the world, there is a renewed admonition from many communities to increase and build a Food Storage Supply. This is good advice.


However, I am often surprised at the lack of vision some people have concerning the “doomsday” mentality- assuming that some barrels of wheat and water will do the job. If those barrels make you sleep easier; then by all means get them and get lots of them.

I have also been perplexed by a number of people who are simultaneously building their food storage and weapon supply. A woman recently explained to me that it was important to have the weapons supply she and her family were also increasing… “In order to protect the food storage- Naturally.”

Here are some things to consider; being prepared for natural disasters is a wise and valuable activity- having clean water and food and even guns/ammo in order to hunt and provide is a wonderful practice, but remember that we must also be emotionally, physically and intellectually prepared as well.

Emotionally, are you spiritually centered? Are you able to hear the guidance of your heart and intuition? This will be vital when the “world has turned upside down.” When you are emotionally distressed, has it become habit to turn to others, to chemicals, to television, or thoughtless entertainment to soothe your emotional pain? If that is unavailable, how will you cope? Spend time now, also building your center of self. Meditate, Pray, Connect with Nature. Learn to recognize that our SOULS are eternal and there is peace WITHIN us even when the rest of the world may be without. Practice connecting to that part of yourself. Kids are involved too… it can be gratifying as a parent to teach our kids to turn to us for solutions, but it is most VITAL they learn to search within themselves for their answers and how to problem solve and to think critically.



Physically, are you healthy? Are you active, do you climb and walk and eat moderately? Are you free of addictions… not just to drugs/pharmaceuticals, but to sugar? Caffeine? Dairy? Can you run? It seems so silly to live a sedentary lifestyle and build a supply of food storage. EXERCISE. Learn to treat common ailments with natural herbs, taking vitamins to boost immunity, stretching/yoga, or other activity. Did you know with just 20 minutes of physical activity a day- MANY health issues are DRAMATICALLY reduced? In a country where almost HALF of our annual deaths are OBESITY related, it is valid to consider that focusing on optimizing our health matters. Is your body PHYSICALLY prepared to ward off infection and disease or heal quickly? Are the chemicals in your body balanced by proper diet, moderation, high fruit/veggie/fiber intake?


Intellectually, are you able to care for yourself if the world we live in were devoid of modern conveniences? Can you garden? Can you use basic tools? Can you sew? Can you cook? If the financial institutions failed, the supply of electricity failed; turning on your hose to water your flowers… didn’t work- could you survive? Learn the basics of gardening, recognizing edible plants from poisonous- HAVE FUN LEARNING TO FISH!!!!! There are tons of great tutorials about being self sufficient, using less energy, cooking outdoors, how to make cleaners, soaps, shampoos out of common household items… You can find many of them on Pinterest! There are many options like essential oils that treat minor and major ailments with little side effects and unlike pharmaceuticals- most have no specific shelf life- lasting for years.

In closing, and in reference to using weapons against our fellow human beings; brothers and sisters, to save food- I won’t do it. I won’t make the choice to watch my neighbors and their children starve while I have supply. I understand protecting my children from marauders- yes. But if I have supply to give, I will give it. If I have medicine to give, I will give it. We are all in together or all out together. Saving the cookies is less important to me than saving a life.

I’ve  heard the arguments of; “it’s either us or them-or of the ten virgins with or without oil…” I boldly reply there is no "US and THEM." There is WE. If my life is shortened by extending the life of another; then I die with peace in my heart and no regret.

Summing up; Food storage is important. But remember to Emotionally, Physically, and intellectually prepare as well.

Katie Jo Welch

2013 October

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

The DANGERS of Church Going

Here we go...................

Any and all religions serve humanity in different ways. They serve to teach discipline and commitment and basic foundation that there is a Higher Source of Enlightenment and whether the "followers" of such structured theological practice actually FOLLOW what they learn there... the organizations DO serve a purpose.

Are they necessary? No.

(May I remind you that Buddha sat under a tree and Jesus went to the Mounts.... but BOTH had a foundation of religion before they achieved their enlightenment)

SO..... the DANGER.

The VERY fact that people are attending church... leads me to assume that THEY know that we live in a Spiritual world with layering levels of consciousness and dimensions.
In other words... there is a lot more going on than meets the EYE... (the physical eye)

At church, there are sometimes hundreds of people gathered... with them they have their Angels...(we all have Angels with us) and those Angels honor us with the highest LAW of the Universe which is FREE AGENCY.

                                               (St. Giles’ Cathedral, Edinburgh, Scotland by mbell1975 on Flickr)



Meaning; they are perched, poised, and ready to assist us at ANY moment in ANY place in ANY way... but honor OUR free-agency by waiting for US to ask before they intercede.
It is OUR asking or the CALL to Action from those who love us that unshackle the Angels. (Parents-call Angels to watch over your children)

In addition to the ANGELS, there are other beings.... those who don't honor ANY laws or respect our personal freedom... in fact, there are those so bent on destroying us that they seek to attach to our auras and feed on our light... In a weird and strange existence they CRAVE the light--- but hate us for having it.

Some of these beings are those who have passed over and perhaps have addictions to things (aka drugs, alcohol, sexual issues, etc) that can only ever REALLY be experienced in a PHYSICAL body... so they are routinely attacking others with those addictions in order to attach to them and experience THROUGH the physical person the addictions they are seeking.

SOOooooOOOoooo...Church.

Imagine the congregation sitting piously in the cathedral singing hymns; now realize that IF in fact we live in a SPIRITUAL and physical world, then all these people are surrounded by demons AND Light Beings.
Those who serve truth and love and free-agency and those who don't.

The Dark Ones are abnormally agitated and frustrated and tripling their efforts in order to keep their "persons" or objects of focus from Peace.
They do this by MIND CHATTER... gossip, judgment, self-condemnation, rage, doubt, whispering unworthiness, disease etc etc etc...

The PURPOSE of the opening of the meetings with prayer and the original dedication of holy buildings was/is intended to repel beings of Darkness; creating a LOCATION that naturally HOLDS the LIGHT that is pure and uncomfortable to Dark Beings, but when PEOPLE bring them WITH them... they are there.

SUMMING up.

Go to Church- if your heart is calling you to do so. But ONLY GO WITH PROTECTION and teach your children to call upon their protection as well. IT IS A LIE That there is ANY PLACE The HOLY SPIRIT CANNOT BE, we are the GATEKEEPERS and we HOLD THE KEY... but again- it's up to us to open it.



Here is a simple protection I use for myself and my children.

"Calling my Angels, Ascended Masters, and Guides; My Ancestors and Posterity who are of the LIGHT; to stand as GUIDES, GUARDIANS and SENTRIES over me, my children, and home. Surround us in LIGHT LIGHT LIGHT, speak to and through our HEARTS. Protect our bodies and minds, open our hearts to give and receive LOVE. And so it is."

Use this every morning, or when you are facing a challenging situation, or sending your kids into school... Use it for ONE week and see the difference.
~ktjo