Sunday, December 18, 2016

I Called My Dad

Sometimes a girl just needs her dad. So I called him.

"Hi Katie."
"What are you calling about?"
"I don't know. I don't know if I have a reason. I just feel like I need to talk to my Dad."
"About what?"
"I don't know."

This was the beginning of the conversation.

I have a good Dad. I'm one of the lucky ones. 
I can count perhaps less than 10 conversations in my lifetime between just my dad and I, that lasted more than 10 min.

He was a good dad, is a good dad. We did family night and family vacations, he was engaged and supported our family... but there are 6 of us kids.
I don't remember One-on-One conversations with my dad growing up.
Most of what I've been taught by my dad is by Observing him. 
Learning from the way he lives. Working next to him as he taught me to run a lawn mower, use a power drill, power saw, build a deck, lay cement.
Over hearing phone calls he was on with neighbors who reached out to him for advice.
Sitting outside his office on a chair in company of his secretary, overhearing him with clients.
Watching him from an audience as he stood at podiums and spoke his truth.
Accompanying him to the widows homes in the neighborhood on the weekends for service or anytime it snowed to shovel their walks.
Hearing Other people talk about my dad... who didn't realize I was his daughter... and their words were respectful. 

My dad.

I'm sharing his words. They meant a lot to me.

"You are strong. Sometimes it feels like no one is seeing who you are, but they are. Sometimes keeping your integrity doesn't feel like it's paying off... but trust me- it is. Whether people say it or not they are watching and it will come back to you. Life isn't always easy- but hold your head high."

"I'm proud of you. You are doing exactly what I would have wished for you, and trust in God. Everything will always turn out for the best, and if you need me- I am here. I love you." 

I don't talk to my dad often, there are some things we don't see the same way- but I know he loves me. I know he wants the best for me and is supporting me. He holds me in my excellence and encourages me to BE so. He doesn't require me to be perfect- but he continues to be an example of always learning, growing, becoming better and striving to LIVE the way I teach. And when I call him- he's there for me. In this way... he has taught me about God. 

Thanks Dad.

Sunday, October 23, 2016

Climb the Mountain

Today, for the first time in years... I climbed the trail I've climbed many times before. 
Today for the first time... I climbed alone. 

I went through a myriad of emotions and self conversations while I climbed.

"Do I really want to do this?"
Imagine how you'll feel when you are done.

How many times do we face a challenge, a decision, a choice and want to take the easy road? How many times have I been overcoming something... Fill in blank: ___________
turning the other cheek
etc etc etc

and in those circumstances I had to ask this question "How will I feel after this decision?" "Will I be stronger, prouder, feel better? if I choose xyz?" It was the only way I climbed out of an eating disorder that lasted 16 years.
White knuckled I often had to ask "Will I be more or less proud of myself if I make this choice?" and one day at a time, one meal at a time, one pill at a time I climbed.

My legs burned today as I climbed and I found myself not even half way up the trail and angry. Angry at myself. Angry because 2 years ago I could reach the top of this same trail without even being winded. I put my head down and began to make each step focused... and then I began to relax. I realized I wasn't enjoying the hike. I also reflected there are times when we simply get to put our heads down and do the work as well.
Times when, as a single mom I get to put my head down and work, climb, get it done... but in this moment as the awareness dawned on me during the climb- I hiked slower, took each step more consciously and partook of the beautiful fall day around me. The view heightening- becoming more and more majestic.

I also, recommitted to myself to BE better. To give more attention to my health and stamina. Instead of being angry at myself at the depreciation of my strength- to learn and use this opportunity as a wake up call to get back into shape again- to recommit to being the best I can be and to make my health a priority- knowing that as I do; I can and will enjoy this hike again, more fully; un-distracted by fatigue and strain. 

I climbed. 

I remembered the study I read that scientists have learned that Oxygen at it's basic level is actually LIGHT.
As we exercise or meditate or BREATHE... we literally fill our cells with LIGHT.
I remembered this and remembered the way I used to carry a small notepad and pen with me when I jogged regularly. It seemed I would have epiphany after epiphany as I ran. In fact, for this reason I chose not to listen to music as I ran- I discovered it inhibited the "flow" of inspiration.
I breathed deeply, intending my lungs, my heart, my body to fill with Oxygen-aka LIGHT.

I soon noticed my resistance to resting.

You see, I have been accused of being competitive from time to time... and as I ponder it- I would say I'm driven.
I don't care about BESTING others.. I care about BESTING MYSELF. As there are other speakers, drummers, painters, salespeople etc. I AM competitive- but it's not about THEM... it's about their inspiration causing me to look at myself and ask "Have I done what I know I'm capable of? Have I pushed myself beyond where I thought I was capable?"

And..... I allowed myself to rest.
I recognized that I had this illusion in place in my head that IF I rested I was weak. After all- 2 years ago I could have easily jogged this trail.
But- I allowed myself to rest and I didn't judge myself for it.
I gave myself permission to be still, drink water, breathe. 

Ultimately, I reached the top.
There was no referee there with a stop watch counting my time- the only thing at the top waiting for me was the View.

I know that we each have a mountain to climb.
I know that we all have challenges.
I know that we all have the opportunity to choose to climb to grow to become more fully our divinity...or to turn around, to sit down, to accept less than the top.
I know we are all doing it different.

There are people we choose to climb with or to climb solo- but in the end we all face our own individual mountain.
We each take the steps, we each have the choice how we climb. 
To push beyond the valley, to grow, to overcome, to rise. 


Wednesday, October 19, 2016

David and Goliath

My son, 8 year old Tate is afraid of Chickens.

This poses a problem because one of Tate's chores is to feed our chickens and gather their eggs.

So..... 8 year old Tate walks trepidatiously towards the coop, mustering his courage, sometimes with his plastic army gear breastplate (from an army costume last year) in the mornings.

Watching him... he carefully scoops the meal for the chickens who, by this time, are squawking. With the nimbleness of a ninja he opens the coop door while the chickens rush at him, he plops the meal in and rapidly shuts the door. The food is enough distraction that he can then creep to the back of the coop and through the trap door collect the eggs.
My Son is a Hero.
Day after day he faces his fears ... and overcomes.

I remember the first time he shared with me he was afraid of the chickens; it was humorous to me and while my eyes were full of laughter I hid it from him. I realized that the chickens were to him what the size of Labrador is to me, and they have beaks and claws.

I'm proud of him.

Today on the Jesus Rock radio station... a song about David and Goliath played. (I'm secretly a Jesus Rock junkie) ;)
It opened the opportunity to have a conversation about David and Goliath with my older 13 year old son as I drove him to school.

I explained the story to him the way I see it.

David was a harp player who herded sheep. He was the little guy.

Day after day he watched the flock, and as he watched them, he practiced perfecting his sling shot aim. Day after day, raccoon after raccoon, dog after dog, he aimed, he shot and he protected the small flock. Once... a Lion encroached upon the sheep... and he mastered it.

Ultimately, David faced Goliath. We all know the story. Only, on this day, it wasn't a small woolly band of sheep he guarded but a kingdom; families, men, women, and children.  Refusing any armor, he bested Goliath. With sure shot and faith he killed the giant.

I love the "little guy" analogy and that through God all things are possible, that's the way I was taught the story in church as a child.  As an adult, the part of the story I like best is that David practiced day after day.

He couldn't have guessed while he shepherded the small helpless herd that he would someday stand on the precipice of saving a nation, but he practiced and perfected his craft.
He loaded his sling shot and aimed and threw... again and again and again.

His story teaches me to be my best, do my best, shot after shot, day after day. Goliath fell because of hundreds of hours of faith and small challenges and adversaries that David had faced before.

We are like David. Often our day to day triumphs seem small and often we overcome challenges that seem like they don't matter, our responsibilities are fragile sheep.  As we stay steadfast, as we continuously choose integrity, health, service, love; when the Giant comes, we are ready.
Our aim is perfect. Our faith is sure.
And YES, God stands with us- but we hold the sling shot. We must take aim. We must throw.

Stay steadfast. We never know the Goliath in our future path...but we CAN know that the small and simple shots we take today, the small and seemingly insignificant triumphs, matter. They create our character and our iron core of a Warrior, a Truth Teller, a Hero. The Champion, the Victor.

And... so I see Tate. Facing his giant day after day. Overcoming. And I am proud. My Hero.

Thursday, September 15, 2016


I was grateful to have the opportunity to spend an evening with
Tiffany Peterson, world renowned Speaker and Business Leader/Mentor/Coach.
She had invited me to be a speaker at a private event for her small group of elite coaching clients in a picturesque canyon situated by a tumbling stream and pillars of fragrant pines.

As she and I sat quietly alone for a brief moment before the evening began- she imparted this golden gem of wisdom.
"Don't diminish your light. Don't do things that diminish your Light." 

That began a spiral of thought for me which has continued.

Day by day, moment by moment we have opportunities to make choices. Choices that diminish our light or those that awaken and Nourish it. 

We all have our humanness... but the purpose of life is to transcend the humanness. Humanness is the mud we start in. The seed of Divinity is who we are.
The seed doesn't mucker down and say "I'm mud. I'm in the mud. I choose the mud. I may as well behave like mud... because this is where I am." It climbs.
Day by day- choice upon choice- it reaches. It stretches towards the LIGHT without seeing it- but trusting it is there.
It never ceases, takes a break, justifies behavior... just IS.
It grows.

Earlier this past week I was in conversation with another one of my inspirations, Bridget Cook-Burch, New York Times best selling Author, Activist, and World Changer.

We were talking about personal goals and health.
She said "I'm realizing just how much those little choices add up- Positive or Negative." 

I agreed.

A donut isn't going to effect our overall health... but continual choosing of donuts will.

Imagine a light bulb. Glowing brilliant Light- filling the room with illumination. 
One drop of dark nail polish on the bulb doesn't make much of a difference- neither does another... or another.... but systematically- drop by drop the light is smothered. The room is dull. 
As it is with our daily choices. 

We've all been around people who justify behavior.
Aside from frustration with their choices... the bottom line is simply: it's uncomfortable to be around the dullness. Our souls ache for the bliss of Light. 

How many times do I have every day to create change? When no one is watching, when just ONLY I know... do I choose to nourish the light or diminish it?

Do I grow, reach, trust in the Light above and beauty I Am and continue towards or do I stay in the Mud of Humanness?
The Mud has it's purpose... but if seeds justified their muck... we would never have the rose, the soft grass, the redwood.
I choose to Nourish the Light within. 
Regardless of whom is there, alone or in company.
I know that as I do- as I step into the energy of Higher Choices... the ECHO of that energy ripples throughout the grid of humanity and the world... the ECHO of energy of "When I am faced with the opportunity to justify or to lead. I choose to lead, lift, and be LIGHT."

THIS is the reality of the Power we each have. Whether alone in a shack on the mountain or in the city... our choices ECHO out beyond us- every choice a musical note; creating the ballad of Energy this World is singing. 
As I Am aware of that-I Am accountable for that, and conscious of it. 

Choose differently, choose higher with every choice. Your choice may be the donut, the tv show you indulge in, the music you listen to, self discipline, returning the pen to the bank... but energetically it effects those whose torment and choices may be vices like hate, prejudice, child abuse, sadistic pleasures, or more.
As we CHOOSE Higher... the energy of HIGHER Choices fills the WORLD. The ECHO penetrates their environment too.

We often ask "How can I make the world a better place?"
The answer is simple.
By our individual choices. Large or seemingly small. 


Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Havasupai Arizona, Magic and Mystery of Native Nations

I'm home from Havasu Falls, Arizona.
My heart is full and my emotions are mixed.

The pristine turquoise water competes only with the turquoise stones adorned on the wrists and neckwear of the Native People there. Symbolizing Father Sky.
To me; Lemuria and Atlantis.

The waterfalls were not only majestic- but awe-inspiring. I had seen pictures ... but until I stood beneath the tremendous power and energy of the falls- the experience of the sheer force of movement blasting me like a torrential wind without even standing beneath it- I could have never understood the true essence of the Water energy.

I am contemplating the FOUR elements as I write.
The Air (hot and humid, like breathing in when I blow dry my hair after a shower)
The Fire (The sun that layered over our bodies with blanketing and suffocating heat)
The Earth (The presence of thousands of souls and footfalls that walked those red rocks; an oasis in the desert, the magnetic Iron in the hills that draws tens of thousands to it annually)
The WATER. (Lyme filled water that offered repreive from the heat, healing elixir- life giving. In fact, we drank from a fresh spring the entire stay)

I didn't realize before I was there just how challenging it was to get permits to visit this sacred and hallowed ground. I couldn't have adequately appreciated the effort until I had been there.

During the day, a moment of pregnant silence would be upon me as nature swirled around and the sky was speckled with Ravens and Hawks and Eagles. Their sillohuettes among the sky was as common as a swallow or robin would be here in the valley.

Dragonflies, Butterflies, Yellow Canaries leaped and floated and sang in a chaotic symphony throughout the stay.
A traffic jam occured on the trail one day to let a small frog the size of a golf ball make his way across the thoroughfare. The next day... a 4 foot black and white striped snake duplicated the journey.

I was there for two reasons.... at least I thought I was there for TWO reasons.
To do Drum Circle with the TIGABO EVENTS Retreat.

To teach a drum making workshop to a select few.

What I learned I was really there for was to open my heart and be imprinted by the energy of a land and people untouched by Western Tradition. A place so remote that the village is the last remaining place to still have mail delivered by horseback.

Everything in Havasu felt amplified and engergized. I felt ALIVE and I felt at peace.
As we soaked the buffalo hides for 2 days in the flowing river before they were tied by my class... I felt the land thanking us for creating healing tools. The water, the mountains, the sky there offering GRATITUDE that the energy and healing and pureness it still is, could be infused in these drums and healing tools to become echoes across many lands. That the CRY of the DRUM to return to honoring Mother Earth could be heard and felt by all those who hear the beat... where ever they go.

It was humbling.
It was holy.

I Am forever grateful.

The Three 18" Buffalo Hide Drums Made in the River.

18" Buffalo Leather hide drum with Horse Mane from the Horses who live there and work with the Native Tribe. 

 18" Buffalo Hide Hoop Drum, light colored beautiful markings $495

18" Buffalo Hide Drum beautiful marbling on front

I only have 3 drums available that are created and from Havasu, please email if interested

Saturday, July 16, 2016

The Red Drum

We've all heard it.
Everything is Energy.
In fact.... We have all OVERHEARD it.
I speak it... I say it... AND... I feel like it's become over used- new age-repetitive goulash.

So, let me offer a deeper insight.
YES, everything is ENERGY but at a more intense level, everything is FREQUENCY.

What is the FREQUENCY of the energy around you? What is your FREQUENCY? Your/Our personal imprint and resonance on our environment?

Sound, frequency, energy are all intermingled and united.

I spoke alongside Mallika Chopra, Deepak Chopra's Daughter, a few weeks ago. She shared about her book addressing personal and powerful intention; I shared about frequency and sound.

You see, I asked all those attending the 2 day I AM Holistic Living Conference in Las Vegas, Nevada to write their "TRUTH" upon my drum.

The red drum of passion and freedom and truth; with the hand print of my young son carrying the energy of the next generation; the hope they have for our world and the responsibility WE have to take care of this world and to protect Her and Her children.

Name after name was added. Words after words were added. As they wrote, the energy grew and the sound and SOUL of the drum deepened.
Each time She was struck, the tone was different. I watched as the words of truth emblazoned across her face and her destiny awakened.

It felt as though I was witnessing the birth and full growth of a giant redwood tree growing up to maturity before my very eyes.
As her voice cried out with every beat throughout the conference- unknowing onlookers would gasp at her echo.

Frequency isn't just something you can hear- but something you FEEL.

As the conference rose to crescendo, I was the final presentation- the last speaker to close and the last words to say before the audience returned to their personal lives.
The pressure of leaving them with an experience that could shift their lives for the better and leave an impression of light upon their hearts and open them to their own truth was upon me.

I stood and I held the red drum, the one with THEIR VOICES captured in Her echo and we drummed.

I asked them to stand when ready- only if they were willing to stand as an emblem of moving forward and DARING to step into their LIGHT, to LIVE FROM THEIR HEART, to be WILLING TO BE THE CHANGE.

We drummed.

Not one soul in the auditorium stay in their seat.  Including Mallika, including the other leaders and attendees and children. In this moment, we were and ARE equal. In this moment we stood together and committed to BE who we REALLY are.
LIGHT. LOVE. The POWER of One as we are ONE.