Monday, April 24, 2017

5 RULES for Dating an Empowered Woman


The world has changed. 
Until recent generations, men were relied upon for their bank accounts and physical strength.
Often, they neglected their spirituality, could behave like brutes, and use "Ole boy" tactics of treating a woman, without any severe repercussions.
After all, women didn't really have options to be self sustaining over their own lives. 
In short, men could be as unruly as they chose and women didn't have the same freedom to create and support their own livelihoods without a masculine counterpart.
We couldn't own land, have careers, or earn the same wages.
To walk away from a man, usually meant we risked financial and social devastation.

However...nowadays, we are in the age of Empowered Women.


                                                                                                            (painting by Mark Spain)

The Empowered Woman is one who knows she can handle whatever life throws at her.
She is one who KNOWS who she is.
She is the multi-faceted diamond.
The business woman, the homemaker, the lover, the leader, the pixie, the queen, the cowgirl, the fashion icon, the seductress, the saint. 
She is vulnerable but has the strength of Ocean Tide.
She isn't bamboozled by magazine covers of super models or societies projections upon what a woman is. 
She is her OWN beauty, and defines the WOMAN she is and what it means to be so. 

She is determined and has a solid identity of who she is, what she likes, and what she doesn't.
She has a career (being a mom counts as a career too)
She takes out her trash.  She pays her bills. She puts her kids' welfare first.
She knows what TV shows, music, and literature she likes.
She exercises to FEEL healthy... not to keep a man.
She accepts and processes her emotional fluctuations without relying on anyone besides herself to do it.
When the sink breaks... she calls the plumber.
When the car breaks... she calls the mechanic.
She is a problem solver.
She is a World Changer.

She has a network of Soul Sisters that aren't petty or back biting. They uplift, inspire, support... and call Bullshit on one another. 
They don't have time for games. They don't play them or engage with those who do.



She'll tell you she loves you when she loves you, not to get something from you.
She communicates her thoughts and ideas, not for outward validation, but because she knows her voice has merit and owns it. 
She doesn't flirt or tease to manipulate men. 
She flirts and teases because it's the luxury of being a woman. 
She offers her LOVE without hooks or lines or expectations but gives it freely, unabashedly, unafraid to express it and experience the totality of it.

You'll find her in work boots and jeans, cleaning up after the dog or kids and 20 minutes later... miraculously dressed in a gown- hair and make up ready for a regal event.


Here's the catch---
SHE doesn't NEED you. 
If you are in her life... it's because she WANTS you there. 

It's NOT your job to take out the garbage, make dinner, buy groceries, mow the lawn, or clean the shed.
If the oil is low in the car... it's not your responsibility.

Buy her nice things... or don't. Build things, or don't. Shovel the walk in winter, or don't.
Buy her flowers, OR don't.
BUT I will tell you what an Empowered Woman ABSOLUTELY requires:

1. Integrity
If you say you'll be there- be there. 
If you say you'll do something- do it.
If you make a promise- keep it. 
If you say you believe something- live it. 
Be an example, not an excuse. 
PS. She's watching. A woman like this knows... if you lie to others... eventually you will lie to her. 



2. Accountability
We are human. 
If you have a moment of humanness- own it. Don't justify your actions that were poor. 
When you say "I'm sorry" mean it. "Sorry" means you feel regret and will choose differently next time. 
She gets it.
We all have moments we aren't our best- but trust me... say it without meaning it... you're done.
Be accountable with your finances, your relationships, your own life, your own health. 
She's not here to be enrolled in your drama with your Ex or carry a flag in your war. She's here to live, to love and share beautiful experiences. 
You can express your struggles, your dreams, and challenges- but do it without requiring her involvement in them.


3. Respect 
An Empowered Woman, doesn't need to be on a pedestal, or beneath one- but she respects herself.
In public and privately, speak kindly to her. 
She's not a woman that is with a man who calls her names or objectifies her.
She is keenly aware that she is more than just a physical body.
You may have access to the slides, but you don't own the playground. 
She knows the depth of her soul and that she is body and soul united. See her for both-or have none. 
Guess what, she's probably been through the gambit of relationship hell in the past-and she walked away. 
So you know she will walk away from you; if you are abusive, or condescending. 
An Empowered Woman knows how to live life- on her terms. She's flexible and easy going, but not controlled. 
Be kind.
Be noble.


4. Authenticity
Be who you really are. Don't have ulterior motives or hide who you are. Have the courage to be open about who you are and let the chips fall where they may.
She's strong enough, intelligent enough, and wise enough to recognize whether or not you are worth keeping or losing. Pretend to be someone else; put on a mask or facade and she will lose all trust in you. 
Hiding who you are takes away another's choice in the relationship.
If you can't BE YOU... she's not your woman anyways.
She's the type of woman you can be open with, and vulnerable with. She doesn't need you to ALWAYS be strong. But you must have strength of character.
Have a purpose that inspires you.. and live it. Anything less is boring for her. 
Be a man she can be proud of- whether or not anyone is looking.



5. Be Loyal
A woman who has opened her life to you, a woman who doesn't NEED you but WANTS you has given you a gift. 
There are no back doors for her. When she holds your hand or lies in your bed, YOU are the only one.
She deserves nothing less in return.
Women like her are rare. A woman like her will have men lined up at the door for her. She isn't stringing them along just in case..., or letting them believe they have a chance, entertaining conversations, or "some days."
When she gives you her heart... it's yours.
She deserves the same. 




If you are able enough, courageous enough, strong enough to be a man who can stand with integrity, accountability, respect, authenticity and loyalty... you'll experience the love of your life.

It takes GREATNESS to Love an Empowered Woman... but it's worth it.

Women like her don't take anything they aren't willing to give. 

We live in a different time, a time when men are called to higher levels of consciousness. We don't need you to kill the beast, drag it to the cave and feed us or fight off lions. 
We need you to be the Warrior, the Lover, the Partner, the Wise One, the Sensitive One, the Leader, the Follower. 
We NEED you to BE who you say you are. 
It's not the bank account, or biceps, white or blue collar anymore... it's the caliber of man you are that keeps us, or loses us.
Women like us... don't settle. 

We love, we forgive, we dream, we support, we encourage, we are dedicated, faithful, committed, driven, and capable... but we don't SETTLE.
The basic RULE for dating an Empowered woman? BE an Empowered Man.

We are in the age of the Empowered Women... AND the EMPOWERED MAN.